The Profesor's Shadow
by InvisibleBlade
Summary: Cutter's clone wasn't as stupid as Helen had taken him for. He wasn't a simpleton, he wasn't a photocopy. He was capable of so much more. He could feel, love, think. That's why as he saw the real Nick Cutter die, he ran, because it hurt to know that he had been the cause of the destruction of the man who so many others looked up to. Where will his running take him? Claudia/Nick.
1. Chapter 1

**I know, I know. I should not be starting a new fic. I'm at college. I have a load of other fics to be getting on with ... I would give you an EMD to shoot me with but I'm afraid we're a little too early in the timestream for them. :-)**

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Claudia waited anxiously outside the glowing orb of light. All she could think of was ... he should be back by now. He being, Nick ; the raggedy, roughed up, shaggy haired professor that lay secretly in the deep regions of her heart.

He hadn't always been there, and it had come to her as quite a shock when she had found out how attached she had become of him. She used to despise the man, and she'd pretty sure that he despised her. Who knows, perhaps he still does, buy funnily enough she couldn't care less if he hated her or not. She loved him enough to keep her distance, and to just watch his tiny quirks that she had grown quite a soft spot for.

His endless rambling about scientific purposes were most definitely her favorite. She could listen to that his Scottish tones ringing out all day. His voice was possibly the only sound her voice was tuned to these days, and as she stood there, the cold breeze blowing gently around her, she found herself yearning to hear it again.

However having these feelings for Nick, and acting on them were two giant leaps from each other. There was his crazy wife hanging around, that didn't help he case at all. Then of course there was her professionalism. Nick was a colleague, and because of that they could never be more than close friends. However even with all that aside, what was she supposed to say? Nick I think you may just very well be the love of my life, drinks? Dinner some time maybe? Not really the sort of think one brings up in just a casual every day conversation, is it?

Anxiety was starting to build up within her now, and as she envisaged the horrific world waiting on the other side of the anomaly a cold shiver washed over her, spiralling down her spine. Anything could have happened to him! He could have been savaged by one of the future predators that he was returning ... or savaged by his psychotic wife. Which was worse was a complete mystery to her. Of course she was completely over reacting. He had Captain Ryan with him, one of their best men, he'd be fine. Wouldn't he?

She glanced over to James who was also starting to look quite agitated with the fact that Nick hadn't returned yet. This only increased the fear rising within her. If James was worried then things were really starting to get serious. James never worried!

As Claudia stared on at the swirling shards of light she almost swore it was starting to get smaller, " James." She croaked.

Her boss looked up at her, frown lines creased into his forehead, " I know." He hummed.

" We have to go through. We have to try and help him!" She didn't even try to hide the panic in her voice now. As the light fluctuated once more Claudia ran forwards, almost tripping over her own feet in the process. She felt hands grabbing her and pulling her back, " Get off of me James." She hissed, and tried to break free.

" It's too late miss Brown, far too late. I'm not losing you too!" He grabbed her and pulled her away from the closing anomaly.

As she watched that golden gateway fade away it was like all the love within her faded away too. She stood there, breathing heavily, shaking with fury. James had stopped her from going through, and now she was trapped in a world without Nick Cutter. What sort of world was that? A world without Cutter was pointless, utterly pointless, pointless and infuriatingly empty.

She turned around and faced James, " I quit. " She growled underneath her breath. She turned and walked away, or rather ran at an ungaily slow pace. Despite James shouting after her she didn't look back once. She had made her choice. She was going to move on with her life. She was going to forget about the ARC, and the anomalies, and most importantly she was going to forget about the man that had been ripped from her life.

However as she was getting into her car she heard the faint remnant of " Claudia Brown." Drifting through the wind.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER : I do not own!**

Nick's clone wasn't bone dead stupid like Helen had told him he was. He knew exactly what he was; a monstrosity. She had created him for one sole purpose destruction. She was right about one thing however. He wasn't anything like the original Nick Cutter. The original was a far better man than him. Nick Cutter was a man with a big heart, and a brilliant mind. On the other hand, he himself had had all of the love drained out of him, and without love his brilliance had diminished. He was nothing but a ticking bomb, and as the crazed Helen ran from the premises of the Arc he saw it in her face that she knew. She knew that he was going to destroy Nick's work and Nick along with it, and that was true. Even now Nick's clone was fighting the urge to press the button. However one thing Helen hadn't probably counted on was his humanity. Humanity was always a concept that Helen hadn't understood. It couldn't be erased. That's why he found the words, " Save yourself." Slipping from his tongue. This was his first act of compassion as a living being, and though it had been a struggle to say those words he knew the feeling felt right, and he hoped, given chance, that it wouldn't be his last act of compassion.

He watched as realisation passed through the real Nick's smokey blue eyes. Then the real Nick was running, not looking back once. I hope you run fast Nick he thought to himself as he lay down the evil contraption on the floor. He fiddled with a tiny button on the side, and felt a wry smile spread across his features as he found what he wanted. All he needed was a little bit more time ... yes time, that was all he'd need to make his escape. Despite of his claim of not knowing what death was he knew what the real Nick had said was true. Life was definitely better than death. As he flicked the timer on his heart began hammering in time with the sickening gentle sound of the timer counting down the seconds.

Ok, now what? He thought.

He ran a hand through his mop of blonde hair and let out a frustrated sigh, and then that was when he saw it ; the flickering ray of hope opening up in front of him, like a bright candle lighting his way. He took a shuddering breath before walking through the golden light and into the unknown. Except where he ended up wasn't unfamiliar ground. It was the ARC, minutes after the bomb had exploded. Dust and smoke lay thick in the air and Nick's clone was already finding hard to breath. He had to get out of here. A small spluttering cough alerted him to someone lying underneath the burnt out metal and debris. He made his way to the sound and found his heart beating with even more fury than it had been before. The Real Nick Cutter lay on the ground, broken, bleeding, a hole in his chest. Helen had done this. It had her finger prints painted all over it. There was a moment where the real Nick's eyes opened and they stared into each others eyes with a deep understanding, " Live your life. Live for me." He whispered hoarsely.

" I will." He agreed in his soft Scottish voice.

seeing a movement in the corner of his eye Nick's clone slinked back into the darkness. He watched carefully as Connor sat next to the real Nick, crying, and pleading for him not to go, but it was too late the life was quickly fading from the man, and all too soon his eyes closed and the end came.

Sorrow filled Nick's clone like a ocean flooding his soul. This wasn't meant to happen. None of it was. Everyone was supposed to live. Now the most brilliant man he'd ever known was dead.

" I don't belong here anymore." He muttered, turning his back on the young boy cradling Nick Cutters body, he left, wading through the wreckage he had caused, unseen.

As soon as he was out in the open he ran. The only question was, where would his running take him?


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own. **

**A/N: A huge thanks goes to both my reviewers and my one fave. The support means the world to me! To my guest reviewer I have absolutely no idea how the animals survived. Strange, huh?**

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Nick's clone found himself waiting. Waiting for what exactly? He couldn't answer that question. He lay low in the dark, and hugged himself as the temperatures dropped in the nights. In the passing days it was just a simple task of keeping himself alive. He'd steal food and drink from near by shops, and whenever he saw coins lying, forgotten, on the streets he picked them up and slid them into his pocket. Nobody noticed him. Helen had made him that way. She had made him into a ghost. He could flicker past people and they would look straight through him.

He tried to fight the urge to shout at the world. To ask the simple question of, why? Because that wouldn't help anyone. Nick Cutter was dead and he had to stay that way. He may not be the simple clone Helen had made him out to be, but he certainly wasn't human. He was different. He was wrong, so incredibly wrong. He was a soldier. Built to fight, built to follow instructions, and as it happened he had none to follow. He was pointless and without a purpose.

And that's how Nicks's clones life was for another two months. Then it came, and as before in the burning, smouldering building, he was offered an escape. As he watched the doorway in time from a distance he frowned. This anomaly was different from any he had seen ... or rather more accurately different from those that played in his stolen memories. It was blue like water shimmering in the air, and seemed far weaker than the usual golden balls of light.

He felt himself torn in two. His brain was telling him to stay well away from this anomaly. It was dangerous. Who knew what would happen if he passed through this one. His heart however is nagging him to go in, to explore and to just ... get away he supposed. He had to get away. Get away from this world where he had no belonging. Who knows perhaps he'd find a place where he did belong.

Stop. This is dangerous! His mind screamed.

The steady beating of his heart drowned out all of his thoughts.

His heart had won before the battle had even started.

He crept through, eyes wide and alert. He half expected a raptor to lunge at him as soon as his foot hit his new suroundings. He was half right ...

Standing there, unbelievably startled, and pasty white was James Lester.

Nick's clone had found himself the human equivalent of a very angry dinosaur.

" Welcome back professor. I hope you have a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why there's an anomaly in my flat! " The older mans eyes were narrowed into a death glare, but Nick's clone just simply laughed. Laughing was a strange sensation. It left a fuzzy warm feeling in his chest. I could get used to laughing he thought.

Then he remembered that the whole ARC team thought that he was dead or rather thought Nick was dead, which he was, but he wasn't . Oh dear, this may take some time to explain. What would they say when they realised he survived whereas the real Nick hadn't? Would they hate him? Yes they probably would.

Hate. Such a powerful emotion, he knows. For a while he hated Helen, for a while he hated himself too, but now, that hate, all that wretched anger, has gone. He can't hate Helen for killing the real Nick Cutter. She had been ... a complicated woman. She should have been offered help. Not that she would have taken it. Nick could have reached out to her a little more than he had, but Nick's clone knows that that would have been easier said than done. He knows because he holds every memory, emotion, and opinion the original Nick had. He knows how betrayed Nick felt. He understands that it's no ones fault, and that nothing can be done to change what happened. He stopped blaming himself, to an extent that is. It isn't his fault that he was created to destroy Nick's world from the inside. At least that's what he has to tell himself from turning mad.

" Captain, Becker's on his way. You'll have to be taken to my office for questioning I'm afraid. You understand, yes? I belive we have some rather ... delicate things to discuss. After all you have been away for almost two years professor. " The words were spoken with that distinct dislike that James Lester seemed to always have whenever he used to speak to Nick Cutter. It pained his clone deeply to hear the same disdain directed at him.

" I guess we do yes." He replied slowly.

" Now, if you excuse me. I have a few calls to make. Claudia brown for one." James muttered the last part with a slight amount of regret tinting his words.

Claudia Brown.

Those two words were all it took for Nick's Clone to break.


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own**

**A/N : A huge thanks goes to everyone who has reviewed this story and to those who have added this story onto their alerts and/or favourites. Thanks.**

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Claudia Brown.

The name echoed within his mind like a chant putting him under a spell. He dropped to his knees in despair, and chocked as the air around him was sucked from his lungs. His eyes began to sting. It was a strange disconcerting pain, and he found that there was no way to rid himself of it. A cold wet sensation trickled along his cheek. He reached up his hand in shock and touched his now damp skin. He realised to his horror that this was what it was like to cry. He hated it. He hated the pain that came with being human. He was filled with so many overpowering emotions that he just couldn't even bring himself to understand. He knew full well that they weren't his emotions but were the emotions of a mad old professor that had died. He was a mere reflection of the man he had been created from. He wished he could make everything just stop.

" Is he having a mental break down. Only we do have a tight schedule to keep." He heard the distant voice of Lester mutter from somewhere behind him.

Nick's clone couldn't help chuckling at that oh so Lester style statement. He knew the truth behind those harsh and bitter words. He knew that James Lester genuinely cared for his team, and yet he could never be shown using such emotions as worry or care because of his reputation. He knew that from the memories within his mind. This Lester was probably just the same. Nick's clone didn't mind though. He needed something familiar to cling onto, even if that familiar thing was just Lester's dry remarks.

Where did he go from here?

He was now in a world where Claudia Brown existed. It should be the original Nick here not him. It had been the real Nick who had loved her. It had been the real Nick who had grieved over her when he had walked into a world where she didn't exist. It hadn't been him. No matter how he wished it had been, it hadn't.

This was wrong. He had to get away. He had to run. Run and never look back.

He leapt up to his feet and pushed past Lester, "Where on earth do you think you're going?" Lester yelled after him.

Nick's clone kept on walking. He ignored Lester's yells. He just had to get away from here before Lester's men got to him.

Two heavy hands clamped down on him. It was two late. Turning around he jumped nervously at the sight of Becker looming over him. Becker's eyes held no recognition, no warmth, no understanding. This Becker was the tough, emotionless soldier that the original Nick had first met. It's funny how things work out. This was a different world, but there were still some fundamental similarities, "You're not going anywhere. You'll have to answer a few questions. Then we'll decide what to do with you. "Becker's voice held that prominent tone that told him that he was the alpha male in charge in this situation.

Nick's clone swallowed down hard," I never said I was." With a great deal of reluctance he found himself getting led to a huge black SUV.

He found himself wishing for the billionth time that he had been the one that died. Unfortunately you can't change time. Except you can … you could. A small, poisonous voice hissed in the depths of his mind. No! I can't. That would be like sinking to Helen's level. She may have created him, but he was nothing like her.

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Nick's clone sat slumped in a small, bare room. He could hear the other's discussing about his arrival. They were deciding what to do with him. He hoped they killed him. He doubted they would though. Too much paperwork to deal with. That would certainly put James Lester off.

He closed his eyes, and blocked off all the sounds surrounding him. He couldn't take this. He just wanted to be able to leave. He just wanted to be free. Was that so much to ask?

Cold hands gripped his. He bolted away from the unexpected human contact, " What?" He asked, dazed, and confused, snapping his eyes open.

And there she was. Claudia Brown. Staring at him like he was a ghost, and couldn't possibly exist. He shouldn't exist, and he supposed in a way he was a ghost. Because what's a ghost but a reminder of what once was? Guilt twisted in his stomach as began to feel those emotions that surely couldn't be his. The love, the sorrow, the happiness, the old grief of wounds that had been scoured into the original Nick's heart.

"Nick?" She questioned him in disbelief.

"Hello, Claudia Brown." He locked eyed with her , and went to stand, but suddenly felt far too weak to do so. His legs buckled beneath him, and he collapsed against her.

She grabbed him by the waist, and slowly sat him down.

That's when his tears began to fall once again.

The tears that belonged to a dead man.

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	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own **

**A/N: A huge thanks goes to everyone who has supported me with this fic so far. x**

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The Raggedy professor sat, cross legged and stony faced, slumped in a mild defeat against the wall of what had become his prison. The tears had disappeared a long time ago, replaced by the sharp breaths spurting from his lungs, and the icy cold claws scraping at his heart's surface. She was still there, staring at him with those big round eyes of hers.

Claudia Brown.

Neither had spoken since he had practically collapsed in her arms. He was clueless as what he could possibly say to her, and she looked far too terrified to say anything. She looked like she wanted to speak to him badly though, but something was obviously preventing her from doing so.

She, if he was correct, had been in a world without Nick Cutter for a long time. He wondered what her feelings towards Nick were. Reaching within his mind he can tell that Nick and Claudia had a relationship of sorts. A very complicated relationship, drifting between flirting, and a strained friendship that consisted of a mix of hate and affection.

Brushing a hand through his overgrown mop of dirty blonde hair he began thinking of the ' what if's. ' What if's ' were extremely dangerous things, and as each hour of the life he had been handed on a plate by Helen passed, the ' what if's ' were tugging at the tiny tendrils of his mind, so much so that it was becoming a painful, and exhausting task to even think. What if Nick hadn't gone in search for the future with Helen and had stayed by Claudia's side instead? What if the other Nick had survived instead of him? What if he himself hadn't been created?

It was Claudia who broke the silence. She laughed, it was nervous but beautiful sound that teased him terribly so. He shouldn't be here to hear that laugh. He should be in a far away place by now. "You always were an impossible man Cutter."

He glanced up at her cautiously, and swallowed down hard. It felt somehow wrong to be addressed as Cutter, and it felt even more wrong to be drinking in the sight of the woman standing in front of him, forbidden even. He huffed a little and removed his eyes so they were glued to the dark metal floor of his cell, " Impossible." He muttered under his breath, " I hate that word. Believe me Claudia Brown, nothing is impossible. I used to believe time travel wasn't possible, but it is, there came the anomalies. Impossible is something that we as a species use to put limitations on things. " He shuddered at the sound of the Scottish vowels bouncing from his lips, " There are things Claudia, things that may seem impossible, and things that might make me sound barking mad." He took a quick, daring glance back up. Her features were imprinted with a small, elegant frown. He wondered if he should tell her about how he wasn't who she and everyone else thought he was. What would she think? Would she resent him for what he is? Or just simply hate him because he isn't the same Nick that left this world? How could he tell her that the man that she thought he was is dead? How does one break news like that?

" I already know that you're mad." she smirked at him a little, though her frown didn't disappear, it increased. Leaning down slightly, she placed a hand on his shoulder, concern emitted from her eyes," What do you mean by things?" She asked him. He shook his head, not really wanting to have to answer her, " Does it have something to do with where you've been all these years?" She questioned him.

He felt his mouth run completely dry, and he nodded his head slowly, " I haven't been gone." He said rubbed a tired hand along his face.

" Nick, it's been years, four to be exact." She informed him gently. He could detect a wobble in her voice. What was that? Worry? Fear? Anxiety? " Nick, you can trust me. You can tell me anything."

" Don't call me that!" He growled, turning his back on her, " Just don't." He muttered in a sorrow filled whisper.

" Nic_"

" I said don't!" He snapped, bitterness edging it's way into his voice.

He heard an almost shocked intake of breath, and then the steely sound of her heels clicking against he ground. He winced as the door to his cell slammed shut, " Oh, Claudia." He sighed, mentally kicking himself for being so harsh on the woman, and even more so for not trusting her with the truth.

Curling himself into a tight little ball, he lay his head down on the freezing cold ground, and let his eyes slip close. He felt so lost here. From his first breath he had dreamt of finding a place of belonging. This wasn't it. He couldn't avoid telling Claudia his identity forever, and if the real Nick had been gone for so long. He doubted they would need him for anything. He was as useless, and pointless.

Then there was the burning desire to destroy anything remotely attached to the research of the anomalies. It was an instinct Helen had driven into him, and was constantly nagging away at him. Perhaps that's why he felt so weak. He was fighting a battle against everything bad within him. What little good within him was quickly becoming a fading memory. Perhaps he would never be able to escape it, perhaps he didn't want to. He was tired. So tired. Maybe his life would be simpler if he just gave into those instincts raging within him, and did what he had been created to do. He, in affect, was a soldier. He had been built for war. Helen's own petty little war against humanity. Now he's still a soldier, but with one major difference, he has no orders. No orders left him on his main default. Destruction. He could already feel himself taking the path that led to death, and terrible carnage.

The sound of the cell door reopening immediately woke him up from his catatonic state. He pushed his weak form up as straight as it allowed him, and gradually opened his eyes. He hoped it was Claudia. He wanted to apologise, for what he had done, and perhaps for what he would do in the near future. He wouldn't be able to fight off his instincts forever. He could try and listen to that drop of humanity inside of him, his conscience, his own free will. But he was alone in this world, and he couldn't talk to anyone about the strange feeling that was compelling him to kill, and to destroy. As his sleep filled vision cleared he realized, much to his disappointment, it wasn't Claudia Brown. It was Becker.

Becker looked down on him in what looked like pity, " I need to ask you some questions." He stated in an emotionless voice.

Nick's clone swallowed as a hard, round lump began form in his throat. He nodded, and tried to stand again. He hoped that he wasn't going to collapse again. Becker wasn't the type to go around catching fainting professors. Giddy with fatigue, he just about managed to stand upright on his own two feet. It took all of his strength to stay up.

Becker gave him a querying look, " Are you ok?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm fine." He replied through gritted teeth. At least I will be once I get out of here, his inner voice thought.

Becker nodded before saying in a voice filled with authority, " Follow me. "

Sighing, the wearied professor began following Becker. With each shaky step he took his plan of escape was forming.

He had to escape, and run, before someone got hurt by his hands, or rather before Claudia Brown had a chance to see his true colours.

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